I wish...
I wish I would feel numb
numb so that I can never feel again
numb so that neither pain nor love can penetrate
numb as in be immune to it all...
oh to be numb....numb and all...
I wish...
I wish I could escape
escape into a world of my making
a world where it all goes my way
a world where I choose who gets to be happy or sad
a world where I am neither queen nor slave
of either people or emotions!
a world...oh a world completely of my making!
I wish...
I wish I could run...
run away from the hideousness of things in life
specifically my life...
run away and go so far where nothing or no one can touch me
run away and go hibernate
run away
run away
run away
I wish...
I wish sometimes that life would be perfect
as perfect as they claim in ever-after books
as perfect as they claim in songs and movies!
as perfect as perfect can get.
I wish....
I wish, sometimes in my darkest hour, to not exist.
To not exist and never feel all the things that I am forced to feel
an existence so meager that it makes me want to bawl my eyes out.
To be non-existent! A wonder, a pleasure and a secret desire.
I wish...
I wish I could walk away from it all
walk away from people who I love
walk away from people who love me
walk away from people who have hurt me
walk away from people who I have hurt
walk away...without a glance, or a care.
walk away and just keep walking to a place where i could just be.
Just be nobody maybe.
Where people would not turn to stare
or secretly whisper and smirk.
Where I could be as carefree as the bird in the sky or the fish in the sea
I wish...
I wish I could hide..
hide from who though?
hide from friends, family and foe?
or hide from me....
Could it be that I am my own friend, family and even foe?
Maybe I am my own enemy!
I wish...
I wish I couldn't feel...
Couldn't feel love,
couldn't feel disappointment,
couldn't feel anything and nothing at all!
I wish..
I wish I could love.
Just love without a care in the world.
Love with all the love that I have to give!
Love selflessly or maybe selfishly.
But just love!
I wish, I want, I need to love!
Love without fear
Love without restraints
Love without confusion
Love without complications
Love....with all my emotions!
